YMCA parent tips: parent-teacher conferences - staying in touch for your child's sake
In most states, your child will be with her teacher for more than 180 days a year-more if she is in child care. That's a long time in her life. And if things don't go well, it can become a long time in yours, too!
Get to know your child's teacher. Plan on meeting at the start of the year and at other times the school sets aside for you to talk. Let the teacher know how interested you are in your child's learning. If you have time, stop by the school or child care center and have a word or two with the teacher. If you can't visit, stay in touch through short notes or phone calls.
When you have a concern, speak calmly with the teacher about it and ask what the two of you can do together to make things better. Don't criticize a teacher in front of your child. Children learn better when they have confidence in their teacher.
The best parent-teacher conference is a sit-down, face-to-face meeting. Most schools schedule these over the course of the school year. However, if you feel there's a problem and no conference is coming up, feel free to call the school and ask for one.
Before the conference
In most cases, time is limited. Preparing in advance helps the meeting move quickly.
- Talk to your child. Tell her you are going to meet with her teacher. Ask her what you should look for in the classroom. See if there are any questions she wants you to ask.
- Make a list of the questions you want to ask the teacher. They may be general ("Is my child working to her best ability?") or more specific ("May I see something my child has written?").
- Decide what you want to tell the teacher about your child. If there are unusual family problems that may be affecting your child's behavior, say so without going into excessive detail. If your child seems bored or anxious about school, bring the matter in an open and honest way. Listen to what the teacher has to say. Work on finding a solution on which you both can agree.
- Be prompt. Schools work on tight schedules. You don't want to lose any of your time or take up the time of others.
During the conference
- Begin on a positive note. Let the teacher know how much your child enjoys drawing or how pleased you are with her reading. If you can't think of anything else, at least thank the teacher for taking time to see you.
- Listen carefully to what the teacher has to say. Takes notes if you like. That will help you think things over later.
- Don't be bashful about saying what's on your mind. A good conference is a two-way exchange.
- If the teacher gives you bad news about your child (e.g., she doesn't get along well with others), don't get angry or apologetic. Listen carefully and try to understand. Ask questions: "Could you give me an example?" or "Does it happen often?" Find out what you can do to help. If you don't agree with the teacher, set up a separate time to discuss the issue in detail.
- End the conference on a positive note. Thank the teacher for her time and emphasize the actions you will both take together.
After the conference
- Discuss the conference with your child. Stress the good things that were said. Be direct about any problems that came up. Be clear about the steps you, your child and her teacher will take to make things better.
- Act quickly on any suggestions the teacher has made. If your child's eyes should be tested, make the appointment right away. If there are books your child needs, get to the library.
- Make sure your child knows that you and the teacher are working together on her behalf. Your child should feel secure, knowing that the important adults in her life are agreeing on matters related to her.