YMCA parent tips: building your child's self-esteem

Self-esteem is the basis of a child's mental health. It leads to confidence and an ability to tackle life's challenges. And it grows with the support of a parent or guardian who believes in the child's ability to succeed.

How can you build self-esteem in your child? Here are a few keys.

Accept your child for who he is - and help him do the same.

One way parents can check their child's level of self-esteem is by observing how he handles mistakes. If, for example, he strikes out in a softball game, he may look at it as a chance to figure out what he did wrong. Or he may blame the umpire, bad luck or himself.

Children with strong self-esteem believe that much of their success is based on what they do: It comes from inside. Kids with low self-esteem often pin their success on luck or their failure on fate.

Parents' reactions are essential. Your child needs to know that nobody is perfect, and nobody expects him to be, either. You may adore baseball, but is it really the end of the world that your kid can't hit, pitch, catch or throw very well? Maybe he would like soccer better. Or swimming. Or drawing. Or playing the trumpet. Maybe it's not what you would choose, but this is your child, not you.

Parents should help children discover all the good things they can do. This way, children will build pride in their own abilities. At the same time, they will learn to deal with the things they don't do as well. Children learn that while they may not succeed in all areas, they can succeed in many.

Give your child real responsibilities.

Giving a child tasks to be in charge of at home and at school builds his self-esteem. Knowing they are being depended on to help out teaches kids that they are important and have something to contribute.

Allow your child to make choices.

If a child learns how to make positive choices when he is young, it prepares him for the tougher choices he'll have to make as a teenager. Give him a chance to make choices on his own, then talk with him about the consequences of those choices-good and bad.

Be supportive.

Praise and encourage your child every chance you get. You'll never be found guilty of giving too much support.

Spend time alone with your child.

Finally, every parent should spend time alone with his or her child at least once a week. Whether you are shooting baskets or going out to grab a hamburger, take time to talk and keep in touch.