It’s So Hard to Say I'm Sorry
posted on 4/25/14
What are the 4 effective statements of an effective apology?
(photo credit: Think Stock)
It’s so simple yet so easy to mess up (and then you’ll need to apologize for your apology!).
There’s the classic Angry Apology: I’m sorry. I said I was sorry!
The Backpedaling Apology: I’m sorry, but I only did it because of some other thing that wasn’t my fault.
The Blaming Apology: I’m sorry you feel that way.
The Passive-Aggressive Apology: I’m sorry, and let’s hope this situation doesn’t happen again.
No pointing fingers here (especially since I know three of them are pointing back at me).
I’m a new mom, so I’m just starting to think about actual parenting beyond basic needs. I’m trying to replicate the things my parents got right (and parents, if you’re reading this: you got a lot of things right!). But, as an ever-changing human, I’m trying to earn my keep in the evolutionary cycle. Which means I’m trying to learn how to best nurture this child and help her be a better person than me.
So, what’s a better way to say you’re sorry? Cuppacocoa, a mom blogger and teacher, recently attended a training that introduced four necessary statements of an effective apology:
1. I’m sorry for…
2. This is wrong because…
3. In the future, I will…
4. Will you forgive me?
She then practiced those statements with her fourth grade students, and miracles ensued. I’m not exaggerating (much). Read the full post here.
Have you tried something similar in your life—either in your own relationships or with your kids? We’d love to hear it below. After all, we’re in this life together.
Andrea Lee is a mom who’s winging it, just like everyone else.
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