But I Won’t Do That

Somehow I knew I would do the gross stuff. I knew I’d put my daughter’s boogers in my pocket. I knew I’d do the taboo stuff. Our child was going to sleep in our bed. What I didn’t envision was more basic.

It seems right to start here: I never thought I’d be a mother. It wasn’t in my plan. And then I grew wise enough to know that plans are for projects we can control. I couldn’t predict that the person I was at 35 would not be the person in my plan at 25.  

I didn’t think that my language would change (and I don’t mean more swearing, though that sometimes also happens). I never thought I’d be a mom who ‘honey’ed her kid. I grew up in Appalachia, where it’s everyone’s name when you don’t know their name. It just wasn’t a term that ever occurred to me in my previous eight years of coupledom (sorry, Spouse). But somehow, with this tiny person, nothing else was sweet or tender enough. And it drips when I say it to my child.

I never thought I’d relish mom groups. The idea of sitting around with your kid, talking about your kid, while listening about other kids with people whose only commonality with you might be that they also reproduced, seemed awkward. Yet it’s been essential to my sanity. I even started another mom group when my first two were not enough.

It’s your turn. What ‘nevers’ did you do when you became a parent? 

Andrea Lee is a mom who’s winging it, just like everyone else. 

Tags: Mom, Mothers, parent, parenting, Kid, Kids, Children, child, youth, blog, the y, YMCA

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